Memo to the Australian cricket team; collectively hang your heads in shame. Undoubtedly their whitewash against a supposedly meek, certainly inexperienced, Sri Lankan team is on the shortlist of worst ever Australian performances.
Let's narrow it down to the past 25 years, shall we? This catastrophe is absolutely Australia's most shoddy series defeat during that overwhelmingly successful period. The shortlist has now been re-written: 1) in Sri Lanka 2016; 2) v England 2010-11; 3) in India 2013; 4) in Sri Lanka 2016 (this disastrous performance deserves another mention).
Anyway, I won't dedicate another entire column ripping the Australian team shreds. It is pointless regurgitating the diatribes I wrote in the aftermath of the first and second Test calamities. Oh, there will be some deserved wrath directed Australia's way but I've also tried to find some positives from this wretched tour that is likely to be an apparition for them for a long time.
So, here are the winners and losers of the series from an Australian perspective.
Winner: Mitchell Starc
The best thing about Australian cricket right now? Mitchell Starc, absolutely. Often, fans confuse the different formats and, accordingly, the perception of a player can be altered. This rang true of the left-armer. For quite some time now, Starc has been devastating in the coloured clothing and absolutely the best white-ball bowler in the world. But that didn't translate to Tests, where Starc was inconsistent and he seemed unable to grind it out in the arduous format. Infamously, Shane Warne publically criticised Starc's demeanour during a Test match against India in late 2014.
With Mitchell Johnson, Australia's long-time spearhead, retiring slightly earlier than expected at the end of last year, Starc suddenly had the sizeable burden of leading the team's attack. He showed glimpses of greatness early in the Australian summer before breaking down in the third Test against New Zealand with a serious ankle injury.
Starc spent six months sidelined, and there was some genuine apprehension about his status. Australian cricket has had too many precocious pacemen (insert James Pattinson and Pat Cummins) unable to shrug off the injury bane to feel confident of a bounce back.
Much to the relief of skipper Steve Smith, the 26-year-old spectacularly returned and might now be well considered the world's best paceman across the board. Starc was a rare shining light amidst Australia's gloom in Sri Lanka, claiming 24 wickets at an average of just 15.
It was a virtuoso performance; one of the best ever individual efforts by a paceman in the subcontinent. A fit and firing Starc ensures Australia remain almost impossible to stop in favourable conditions for seamers and, importantly, provides Smith a match-winning foundation to build his team around.
Loser: Australia's innocuous spinners
Nathan Lyon, Australia's lead spinner, claimed 16 wickets at about 32 for the series. They are honest figures and mirror his career output, which has now spanned five years and 57 Tests. Unfortunately, respectable isn't merely good enough on favourable spinning decks of the subcontinent.
Sri Lanka's wily spinner Rangana Herath was at another level compared to his opposite number, which wasn't particularly surprising, but reinforced that Lyon just isn't the match-winning spinner Australia desperately crave and that they've lacked since Shane Warne and Stuart MacGill retired in the late 2000s.
Lyon toils away gamely and uses his guile to eke wickets; certainly admirable traits that are highly commendable. He performs well in Australian conditions, where his role is suitably defined as a support bowler behind the team's firepower pace stocks. But when entrusted to be the main strike force, Lyon is unable to be the game-changer for Smith. He's not going to change the course of the match in a matter of spellbinding overs like Herath consistently does in the subcontinent. Lyon is innocuous, rather than inspiring and intimidating.
Very much a fulcrum of the attack these days, Lyon deserves to hold his spot, particularly as Australia's Test schedule reverts to the comforts of home, but the team desperately needs to find another spinning option. Steve O'Keefe, the left-arm orthodox spinner, was reasonable in the opening Test before breaking down with injury, but one wonders if he'll be the long-term answer at 31 years old.
Unfortunately, his replacement, Jon Holland, another left-arm spinner, looked out of depth and is unlikely to be recalled any time soon.
Winner: Adam Zampa
Speaking of spinners, Adam Zampa's stocks have risen purely by being far removed from Australia's stench in Sri Lanka. Australian fans and selectors alike are desperately searching for a spinning saviour, with many turning to the 24-year-old leg-spinner for hope.
After an impressive T20 WC campaign, the inevitable Shane Warne comparisons ensued. It must be said, similarities exist beyond the familiar blonde-styled hair. Much like Warne, Zampa has a slow, deliberate run-up and seemingly relishes a fight. He does not look overawed, even in the Twenty20 format where spinners are often treated like bowling machines.
Unfortunately, Zampa's first-class average of 50 sticks out like a sore thumb. Still, he oozes too much talent that simply can't be ignored. Zampa's upcoming Sheffield Shield season will be monitored with great intrigue ahead of the crunch tour of India.
Loser: Usman Khawaja/Joe Burns/Adam Voges
Smith's fledgling captaincy reign started spectacularly, highlighted by the batting order clicking after a period of instability. Joe Burns formed a dangerous attacking tandem with David Warner, Usman Khawaja had the golden touch and Adam Voges's average was in rarefied Bradman terrain.
Those memorable feats now appear several lifetimes ago. Truth is, their rampage against a limp New Zealand and the West Indies was fool's gold. In Sri Lanka, Khawaja's lethargy reared, while Burns' sloppy technique was brutally exposed. Neither lasted the series. Voges, whose wondrous average of 95 has now dipped to 72, is only months away from turning 37 and appears a stopgap, much like Chris Rogers at the backend of Michael Clarke's captaincy.
Australia's batting line-up once again appears a major liability and continues to hinder the team's quest for prolonged greatness.
Winner: Shaun Marsh
After years of being a well-worn punching bag, much-maligned Shaun Marsh became Australia's first centurion of the series after being recalled for the final Test. Remarkably, it appeared Marsh was set to become an unlikely final day hero combining perfectly with Warner to give Australia hope of a consolation Test victory.
But he fell on the stroke of lunch, triggering a collapse as Australia were deservedly whitewashed. Still, the stylish left-hander's strong performances ensured he is likely to start the Australian summer in the Test team.
Marsh has now scored tons in consecutive Tests after previously managing just two hundreds from 16 Tests spread over four years. The caveat is that Marsh is 33 years old and has a history of underperforming in crunch situations. Despite consecutive centuries, Marsh's Test average is only 40, the same underwhelming eyesore blighting his first-class record.
There is little doubt that Marsh is one of Australia's most talented batsmen. He can plunder high-calibre bowlers but, importantly, also boasts a solid technique, unlike Burns the player he replaced in Colombo. Maybe he has finally matured as a batsman. Recently becoming a father has perhaps also strengthened his resolve and added newfound perspective. A late blooming Shaun Marsh will be a welcome tonic for Australian cricket.
Loser: Steve Smith
After eviscerating New Zealand away, captaincy seemed to be going swimmingly for Smith, Australia's wunderkind skipper. He hadn't tasted Test defeat from 11 matches as captain and was compiling runs in record-breaking fashion.
Now, the honeymoon is well and truly over. Smith was still Australia's most reliable batsman, averaging 41 in Sri Lanka. But the 27-year-old will long have nightmares of his series-turning dismissal on day two of the opening Test, when he unsuccessfully charged at Herath to be stumped for 30 as Australia's ironclad grip was grasped.
Tactically, Smith was at odds with field settings to his spinners, seemingly confused whether to be aggressive or conservative. No doubt, Smith will be brooding but important lessons need to be learned.
A demanding six months lay ahead, which is set to shape Smith's early captaincy reign.
Winner: India
With Australia losing, India are now the number one Test team and can consolidate their ranking by defeating the West Indies in Trinidad. Conversely, Australia have now dropped to third.
Adding to their glee, you sense India would have had a watchful eye on Australia's travails in Sri Lanka. Armed with beguiling spinners and rampant turning decks, India will be highly confident of continuing Australia's subcontinent misery when the teams meet next February in a highly anticipated four-Test series.
Loser: ICC's Test rankings
There was much pomp when Steve Smith received the Test championship mace in recognition for Australia being crowned Test's best ahead of the Sri Lanka series. It spoke of Australia's swift rise under Smith but felt slightly fraudulent considering their long-time struggles in England and the subcontinent.
Now, it is confirmed; Australia clearly aren't deserving of the number one ranking. But neither are India. Or Pakistan. Right now, every Test team is flawed. There is no dominant, all-round team able to play consistently in different conditions.
Essentially, being number one right now feels token in a mockery of the ICC's rankings. It is little wonder Dave Richardson, ICC chief executive, is unwavering in his bid to revamp the structure of international cricket.
© Cricbuzz
Let's narrow it down to the past 25 years, shall we? This catastrophe is absolutely Australia's most shoddy series defeat during that overwhelmingly successful period. The shortlist has now been re-written: 1) in Sri Lanka 2016; 2) v England 2010-11; 3) in India 2013; 4) in Sri Lanka 2016 (this disastrous performance deserves another mention).
Anyway, I won't dedicate another entire column ripping the Australian team shreds. It is pointless regurgitating the diatribes I wrote in the aftermath of the first and second Test calamities. Oh, there will be some deserved wrath directed Australia's way but I've also tried to find some positives from this wretched tour that is likely to be an apparition for them for a long time.
So, here are the winners and losers of the series from an Australian perspective.
Winner: Mitchell Starc
The best thing about Australian cricket right now? Mitchell Starc, absolutely. Often, fans confuse the different formats and, accordingly, the perception of a player can be altered. This rang true of the left-armer. For quite some time now, Starc has been devastating in the coloured clothing and absolutely the best white-ball bowler in the world. But that didn't translate to Tests, where Starc was inconsistent and he seemed unable to grind it out in the arduous format. Infamously, Shane Warne publically criticised Starc's demeanour during a Test match against India in late 2014.
With Mitchell Johnson, Australia's long-time spearhead, retiring slightly earlier than expected at the end of last year, Starc suddenly had the sizeable burden of leading the team's attack. He showed glimpses of greatness early in the Australian summer before breaking down in the third Test against New Zealand with a serious ankle injury.
Starc spent six months sidelined, and there was some genuine apprehension about his status. Australian cricket has had too many precocious pacemen (insert James Pattinson and Pat Cummins) unable to shrug off the injury bane to feel confident of a bounce back.
Much to the relief of skipper Steve Smith, the 26-year-old spectacularly returned and might now be well considered the world's best paceman across the board. Starc was a rare shining light amidst Australia's gloom in Sri Lanka, claiming 24 wickets at an average of just 15.
It was a virtuoso performance; one of the best ever individual efforts by a paceman in the subcontinent. A fit and firing Starc ensures Australia remain almost impossible to stop in favourable conditions for seamers and, importantly, provides Smith a match-winning foundation to build his team around.
Loser: Australia's innocuous spinners
Nathan Lyon, Australia's lead spinner, claimed 16 wickets at about 32 for the series. They are honest figures and mirror his career output, which has now spanned five years and 57 Tests. Unfortunately, respectable isn't merely good enough on favourable spinning decks of the subcontinent.
Sri Lanka's wily spinner Rangana Herath was at another level compared to his opposite number, which wasn't particularly surprising, but reinforced that Lyon just isn't the match-winning spinner Australia desperately crave and that they've lacked since Shane Warne and Stuart MacGill retired in the late 2000s.
Lyon toils away gamely and uses his guile to eke wickets; certainly admirable traits that are highly commendable. He performs well in Australian conditions, where his role is suitably defined as a support bowler behind the team's firepower pace stocks. But when entrusted to be the main strike force, Lyon is unable to be the game-changer for Smith. He's not going to change the course of the match in a matter of spellbinding overs like Herath consistently does in the subcontinent. Lyon is innocuous, rather than inspiring and intimidating.
Very much a fulcrum of the attack these days, Lyon deserves to hold his spot, particularly as Australia's Test schedule reverts to the comforts of home, but the team desperately needs to find another spinning option. Steve O'Keefe, the left-arm orthodox spinner, was reasonable in the opening Test before breaking down with injury, but one wonders if he'll be the long-term answer at 31 years old.
Unfortunately, his replacement, Jon Holland, another left-arm spinner, looked out of depth and is unlikely to be recalled any time soon.
Winner: Adam Zampa
Speaking of spinners, Adam Zampa's stocks have risen purely by being far removed from Australia's stench in Sri Lanka. Australian fans and selectors alike are desperately searching for a spinning saviour, with many turning to the 24-year-old leg-spinner for hope.
After an impressive T20 WC campaign, the inevitable Shane Warne comparisons ensued. It must be said, similarities exist beyond the familiar blonde-styled hair. Much like Warne, Zampa has a slow, deliberate run-up and seemingly relishes a fight. He does not look overawed, even in the Twenty20 format where spinners are often treated like bowling machines.
Unfortunately, Zampa's first-class average of 50 sticks out like a sore thumb. Still, he oozes too much talent that simply can't be ignored. Zampa's upcoming Sheffield Shield season will be monitored with great intrigue ahead of the crunch tour of India.
Loser: Usman Khawaja/Joe Burns/Adam Voges
Smith's fledgling captaincy reign started spectacularly, highlighted by the batting order clicking after a period of instability. Joe Burns formed a dangerous attacking tandem with David Warner, Usman Khawaja had the golden touch and Adam Voges's average was in rarefied Bradman terrain.
Those memorable feats now appear several lifetimes ago. Truth is, their rampage against a limp New Zealand and the West Indies was fool's gold. In Sri Lanka, Khawaja's lethargy reared, while Burns' sloppy technique was brutally exposed. Neither lasted the series. Voges, whose wondrous average of 95 has now dipped to 72, is only months away from turning 37 and appears a stopgap, much like Chris Rogers at the backend of Michael Clarke's captaincy.
Australia's batting line-up once again appears a major liability and continues to hinder the team's quest for prolonged greatness.
Winner: Shaun Marsh
After years of being a well-worn punching bag, much-maligned Shaun Marsh became Australia's first centurion of the series after being recalled for the final Test. Remarkably, it appeared Marsh was set to become an unlikely final day hero combining perfectly with Warner to give Australia hope of a consolation Test victory.
But he fell on the stroke of lunch, triggering a collapse as Australia were deservedly whitewashed. Still, the stylish left-hander's strong performances ensured he is likely to start the Australian summer in the Test team.
Marsh has now scored tons in consecutive Tests after previously managing just two hundreds from 16 Tests spread over four years. The caveat is that Marsh is 33 years old and has a history of underperforming in crunch situations. Despite consecutive centuries, Marsh's Test average is only 40, the same underwhelming eyesore blighting his first-class record.
There is little doubt that Marsh is one of Australia's most talented batsmen. He can plunder high-calibre bowlers but, importantly, also boasts a solid technique, unlike Burns the player he replaced in Colombo. Maybe he has finally matured as a batsman. Recently becoming a father has perhaps also strengthened his resolve and added newfound perspective. A late blooming Shaun Marsh will be a welcome tonic for Australian cricket.
Loser: Steve Smith
After eviscerating New Zealand away, captaincy seemed to be going swimmingly for Smith, Australia's wunderkind skipper. He hadn't tasted Test defeat from 11 matches as captain and was compiling runs in record-breaking fashion.
Now, the honeymoon is well and truly over. Smith was still Australia's most reliable batsman, averaging 41 in Sri Lanka. But the 27-year-old will long have nightmares of his series-turning dismissal on day two of the opening Test, when he unsuccessfully charged at Herath to be stumped for 30 as Australia's ironclad grip was grasped.
Tactically, Smith was at odds with field settings to his spinners, seemingly confused whether to be aggressive or conservative. No doubt, Smith will be brooding but important lessons need to be learned.
A demanding six months lay ahead, which is set to shape Smith's early captaincy reign.
Winner: India
With Australia losing, India are now the number one Test team and can consolidate their ranking by defeating the West Indies in Trinidad. Conversely, Australia have now dropped to third.
Adding to their glee, you sense India would have had a watchful eye on Australia's travails in Sri Lanka. Armed with beguiling spinners and rampant turning decks, India will be highly confident of continuing Australia's subcontinent misery when the teams meet next February in a highly anticipated four-Test series.
Loser: ICC's Test rankings
There was much pomp when Steve Smith received the Test championship mace in recognition for Australia being crowned Test's best ahead of the Sri Lanka series. It spoke of Australia's swift rise under Smith but felt slightly fraudulent considering their long-time struggles in England and the subcontinent.
Now, it is confirmed; Australia clearly aren't deserving of the number one ranking. But neither are India. Or Pakistan. Right now, every Test team is flawed. There is no dominant, all-round team able to play consistently in different conditions.
Essentially, being number one right now feels token in a mockery of the ICC's rankings. It is little wonder Dave Richardson, ICC chief executive, is unwavering in his bid to revamp the structure of international cricket.
© Cricbuzz